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My mom, Helena Patricia Troger (Pat or Patsy) died over Easter weekend. Mom had 7 sisters and brothers, two children, 15 grandchildren and almost 30 great grandchildren. Given the strange world we are living in now, we are not planning a funeral until later, probably months from now. I have no doubt Mom went immediately to Heaven to join Dad. She died 3 months to the day after he died. During the two days I was able to spend with Mom at the end, I told her multiple times that Dad was waiting for her. It was very peaceful in spite of the craziness going on around us.

Although Mom had dementia and was in Memory Care, her personality was still there. She loved to dance for everyone when she heard music she liked, she smiled all the time, and when her speech was still understandable she would make the funniest jokes—I told her that her tummy was getting big from eating so much ice cream and she deadpanned that she was pregnant! Last year when my cousin Terry visited her, Mom saw her and said “Well, I’ll be damned!” I am glad so many people were able to visit her when they were here while Dad was sick and then for his funeral in January: Joann, Steve and Scott from Kansas, my cousins Mike and Linda from Michigan, both of my kids and my grandson and grand dog. Mom was such a special person. She had a great sense of humor, she was very generous, she was kind to everyone, she was very religious but didn’t wear it on her sleeve.

She went to Mass every day for much of her life, said her rosary every night and spent time every day saying her “prayers”—she had a stack of holy cards from people who had died and other occasions that she would read through. Joann says she went to mass every day with Mom while she was in school, and Mom told her to ask God to help her be good. Joann says she still asks God that when she goes to daily Mass. Mom was in the Convent to become a nun and got sick so they sent her home to recover. She met my dad and never went back. She said it was probably good that she didn’t take her vows because she would have been a renegade—she thought it was stupid that nuns couldn’t drive at that time and she intended to change that! Mom also spent many years volunteering at Church in the choir, counting the collection, taking care of the altar, and as a Eucharistic Minister at a nearby hospital. When Mom and Dad moved to Riderwood 11 years ago, Mom walked miles every day through all the buildings. Ironically, most days she would walk over to the Nursing Home section where she would eventually live, to visit people there that she knew. That was her mission—caring about people and talking with and listening to people. I remember as a young kid going with Mom to someone’s house regularly to work with a team of people that helped a child who had cerebral palsy exercise their limbs and learn to crawl.

I remember helping at a Soup Kitchen on Thanksgiving. I remember my Mom taking a car full of our friends to Tiger games on weekends. No one else’s Mom would drive downtown to do that. Mom made friends wherever she went. When she got married and moved to Detroit with Dad, she didn’t know anyone, but we soon had a collection of people that we called Aunt and Uncle that were surrogate grandparents to me and Joann for many years. Mom loved to play poker and she was good at it—but when she won, she would apologize and feel bad for whoever lost. We had wonderful vacations—I remember our trip out west in the camper for 3 weeks. Mom kept track of everything we spent and where we stayed, and I still have those notes. We spent $500 in three weeks for gas, food and campgrounds. Mom loved to play slot machines and was lucky at that too. Mom wrote about “God’s Special Children” when her sister Joan died years ago. Joan had Downs Syndrome. She talked about how we all learned so much from Joan—how to love everyone unconditionally, always ready to smile and forgive. She said we should be grateful to God for sharing her life with us. Mom didn’t have Downs Syndrome, but I think these words fit Mom perfectly and I thank God that she was my Mom.

A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Thursday, August 13, 2020 at 10:00 AM in Sacred Heart Catholic Church Bushwood, MD with Father Stephen Wyble officiating. Interment will follow in the church cemetery.


Regarding donations, I suggest either of the following or anything you choose given the incredible needs that exist right now because of the pandemic. Resurrection Catholic Church in Burtonsville, Maryland. https://resurrectionadw.org/donate/
Or the Alzheimer’s Association. https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwiLjIuwre3oAhUJjrMKHSUnACEYABACGgJxbg&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAASEuRoNOW0tYU4JUEO6gI0lB9aZA&sig=AOD64_31OMn2nG0jCJifBgV_PvGMUg61pw&adurl=&q=&ved=2ahUKEwicqIKwre3oAhV6lnIEHTkGBUgQqyQoAHoECBsQBw